Starting Over in My Mid-30s
Life has been a rollercoaster, but I finally feel like I'm on the right track.
Too often I find myself saying, “This was one of the most difficult periods of my life.” But last summer, it was different.
If you recall my previous post, in 2023, I graduated with a fine art certificate, got a summer job at an art gallery, and planned to enjoy casual dating before returning to college for a fine art diploma.
Of course, that’s not how things turned out.
At the end of the school year in 2023, my vehicle gave out, and the repairs were going to cost a lot. Facing at least four months of very low income, fixing it wasn’t an option. My summer job barely covered my expenses, let alone a hefty car repair bill.
Despite having no money and no vehicle, I tried to make the best out of the summer. (Fortunately, my summer job wasn’t too far!)
My morning commute by bus and walking actually brought me a lot of joy. Rain or shine, I enjoyed being out in nature on the most beautiful route to work - along rivers and creeks, gorgeous forested trails, and past historic homes. The gallery itself, once the residence of renowned Canadian artist Homer Watson, was nestled amidst lush gardens and greenery. When I wasn’t at work, I explored my neighbourhood on foot, met up for drinks downtown, and spent time on the nearby lake with my dear friend. It was a memorable summer.
Then, one day on the bus ride home, I started messaging with a man I’d matched with on a dating app. We decided to meet for a drink, both hoping to have a good time but neither looking for anything serious. (We’ve been together nine months now.)
As summer faded, I had to face the harsh reality that returning to school wasn’t financially possible. After spending the rest of my savings on car repairs, the lengthy commute to campus wasn’t going to happen. Finding a job became my top priority.
Over six months, I sent out more than 200 applications and received 13 interview requests before finally landing a job. Never in my life have I struggled so much to find work, but in the end, it was worth it.
Now, as winter gives way to spring, I can honestly say I’m content. Over the past year, I graduated from art school, had an amazing summer, met an incredible man, and started a fulfilling new job.
Of course, things still aren’t perfect. After two years of unemployment (other than the odd freelance assignment and 10 weeks at the gallery), my savings are depleted and I’m now tackling debt and bills. Financial stress is hard and impacts almost every aspect of life, but I’m striving to rebuild and move forward.
Still, as I write this I can’t help but smile. Despite all the hardships I’ve endured, which there have been many, I still try to focus on the good.
When I stop to think about it, my life has been a rollercoaster; sometimes I think I’ve only made it this far off pure delusion, a little bit of luck, some stubbornness thrown in, and an amazing support system.
But I guess that’s life. Or at least mine.
If you’ve made it this far into my new online diary, thank you for reading.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my story so far and I can’t wait to write more entries! I’m excited to share more tales of love, loss, mental health struggles, heartbreak, grief, joy, laughter, adventures, and all that’s to come in this silly little life of mine.